Late Show with David Letterman Season 3

1: Show #0440

Sep 4, 1995

Dave grills his new announcer, making him do voiceovers throughout the show (including #1 on the top ten list).

2: Show #0441

Sep 5, 1995

Tom Snyder wants everybody to know that he does not hold a grudge with Dave. Meanwhile, Alan Kalter continues to get used to his new surroundings.

3: Show #0442

Sep 6, 1995

Charlton Heston plays ""Dave's Boss"" and bullies him mercilessly. Later, Kevin Pollak promotes ""The Usual Suspects.""

4: Show #0443

Sep 7, 1995

Amongst the ""Items Included in the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame:"" Stuff found in ZZ Top's beards, a guitar made of David Crosby's old liver, and Marv Albert's Rock & Roll Bloopers, with Hootie (as in Hootie and the Blowfish) getting hit on the head by a basketball. Meanwhile, in order to prepare for an Olympic diver that will be appearing later, Dave recruits Alan and an audience member to get in a tank.

5: Show #0444

Sep 8, 1995

Wesley Snipes promotes ""Money Train,"" then strips to a dress.

6: Show #0445

Sep 11, 1995

A day after the Emmy Awards, Dave tosses donuts into the audience with the new Donut-A-Pult. Quote Dave: ""Now it's really hard to believe we didn't win an Emmy."" Meanwhile, Biff Henderson recites a passage from the Packwood Diaries.

7: Show #0446

Sep 12, 1995

The Donutapult returns, while Dave brings in a cabbie to write a Top Ten list.

8: Show #0447

Sep 13, 1995

While promoting the movie ""Showgirls,"" star Elizabeth Berkeley gives Dave a lap dance.

9: Show #0448

Sep 14, 1995

Gerard, Rupert, and others discuss what they like about Autumn, while Rush Limbaugh introduces a mini-Donutapult.

10: Show #0449

Sep 15, 1995

During CBS Mailbag, Cyndi Lauper sings ""Lactose Intolerant."" Later, the Donutapult makes one last appearance.

11: Show #0450

Sep 18, 1995

Throughout the show, winners of obscure beauty pageants (including ""Miss Peanut"" and ""Miss South Carolina Tobacco"") walk across the stage and escort tonight's guests.

12: Show #0451

Sep 19, 1995

Dick Assman is still popular in Canada; Newt Gingrich presents the Top Ten list; Thomas Haden Church promotes ""Ned & Stacey""; Dave juggles peaches.

13: Show #0452

Sep 20, 1995

Rudy Guiliani give Dave a key to the city, then takes it back.

14: Show #0453

Sep 21, 1995

Dave gives a three pound ham to an audience member, while ""Friends"" star Courtney Cox launches the ""Donutapult 2000.""

15: Show #0454

Sep 22, 1995

Eddie Jamison (the guy who said ""I Love You, Man!"" in those beer commercials) interrupts the monologue; Doc Severinsen sits in with the band; Mary Tyler Moore accuses Dave of being a brown-noser.

16: Show #0455

Sep 25, 1995

Doc Severinsen is still sitting in; The Delaria Sisters, a group of women who hang by their hair on a pole, demonstrate their skills; Dave chats with a grade-schooler who ran off a burgler.

17: Show #0456

Sep 26, 1995

Dave invites his neighbor Steve over for coffee; Ellen Cleghorne promotes her new sitcom.

18: Show #0457

Sep 27, 1995

13 NYC cab drivers are invited to serve on a mock jury to determine the fate of OJ Simpson. Instead, they're serenaded by Mel Torme.

19: Show #0458

Sep 28, 1995

1995: Uma Thurman joins Geraldo Rivera as the mock jury of cab drivers continues to deliberate, led by foreman Parminder Singh. Dave notes, ""Uma, Parminder; Parminder, Uma.""

20: Show #0459

Sep 29, 1995

Dave introduces ""The Donutapult 2000+,"" which is so big it has to sit out on 53rd Street. Later in the show, it is converted into ""The Melonapult 2000+.""

21: Show #0460

Oct 2, 1995

Amongst the latest ""Back-to-School Items:"" Oreo Cookies with Clearasil Pad Filling, Larry King Ex-Wife Trading Cards, and a Kate Moss Lunchbox. Later, Andy Dick promotes ""Newsradio.""

22: Show #0461

Oct 3, 1995

The cast and crew explains why they're glad the O. J. Simpson trial is over; Julianne Moore promotes ""Safe.""

23: Show #0462

Oct 4, 1995

Pete Fatovich, ""Creepy Dave,"" and Gerard comment on the OJ verdict, while Chazz Palminteri gives an audience member his coat.

24: Show #0463

Oct 5, 1995

Dave's ""younger brother Carl"" sits in on violin; Dave thinks he's on a caffeine buzz.

25: Show #0464

Oct 6, 1995

26: Show #0465

Oct 16, 1995

Dave, Cybill Shepherd, and sports legend Joe Montana throw footballs into cabs on 53rd Street. After repeated attempts, all three find their target at once. Also, Dave announces that tonight's show is in ""actual size.""

27: Show #0466

Oct 17, 1995

Via live remote, Dave asks a customer at a nearby laundromat to take a pair of pants out of the dryer and bring them into the theater for guest Richard Simmons to wear.

28: Show #0467

Oct 18, 1995

Marilyn Horne of the Metropolitan Opera presents the Top Ten; the Rev. Jesse Jackson discusses current events and mentions his son's run for Congress.

29: Show #0468

Oct 19, 1995

During CBS Mailbag, Dave goes sailing with Paul, the models and Bob Denver. Later, William Shatner is beamed out of his seat.

30: Show #0469

Oct 20, 1995

Dave goes to New Jersey to find a date for mailroom employee/superstar extrordinaire Bob Borden. Meanwhile, Paul is missing, so Dave leaves the theater and finds him chatting at a party with Woody Allen.

31: Show #0470

Oct 23, 1995

Dave starts reading the Miranda Rights before realizing he has the wrong index card. He leaves the studio to search for the correct card and finds ""NYPD Blue"" stars Jimmy Smits and Dennis Franz reading the Top Ten List to a captured thug.

32: Show #0471

Oct 24, 1995

Throughout the show, The ""Jimmy Letterman Singers"" sing ""Jimmy."" Later in the show, Dave concedes: ""It sucks, it stinks, it blows; it ain't working.""

33: Show #0472

Oct 25, 1995

Throughout this year's World Series, kid reporter Sparky Mortimer has been making reports from the stadiums in Cleveland and Atlanta. Tonight, he lands a quick interview with Braves owner Ted Turner.

34: Show #0473

Oct 26, 1995

During CBS Mailbag, Paul does a Johnny Carson impression. Later, Dave and Michael Rappaport lather up in order to use the CBS spa.

35: Show #0474

Oct 27, 1995

Dave and Paul recruit a guy named Moe from a delicatessen, and the CBS Orchestra puts together a music video about him. Later, Sparky Mortimer runs the bases at Jacobs Field in Cleveland.

36: Show #0475

Oct 30, 1995

Upon returning to NYC, Dave gives Sparky a pat on the back for a job well done; Casey Kasem introduces Wayne Hazeltine and the Pants Across America Tour; Carol Burnett takes off her skirt.

37: Show #0476

Oct 31, 1995

A pumpkin launcher is demonstrated on 53rd Street, while The Pants Across America tour stops at St. Louis.

38: Show #0477

Nov 1, 1995

Casey Kasem and the Pants Across America tour reports from Mount Rushmore, while up and coming actress Claire Danes introduces one of her favorite bands, UB40.

39: Show #0478

Nov 2, 1995

Carol Channing harasses Dave during CBS Mailbag; the tour hits the Grand Canyon.

40: Show #0479

Nov 3, 1995

Tonight on the ""Pants Across America"" tour, Casey Kasem is in Las Vegas, listening to an Elvis impersonator perform ""Burning Love.""

41: Show #0480

Nov 6, 1995

42: Show #0481

Nov 7, 1995

Television City Studios, Day 2: Danny DeVito and Dave get into the stage pool and have a water fight. Meanwhile, Tony Mendez continues his cameo appearances on TV shows; tonight he's seen in clips from ""Friends"" and ""Grace Under Fire.""

43: Show #0482

Nov 8, 1995

From Los Angeles: Alka Seltzer® is inserted into the backdrop pool; Demi Moore presents ""The Top Ten Least Popular Stripper Names;"" Green Day performs ""86.""

44: Show #0483

Nov 9, 1995

Red Hot Chili Peppers â€“ ""My Friends""

45: Show #0484

Nov 10, 1995

46: Show #0485

Nov 13, 1995

Biff interrupts Dave's opening remarks and asks for water. Out runs NYC marathon winner German Silva with his drink. Later, Bill Murray cooks toast, and Silver runs by again to pick it up.

47: Show #0486

Nov 14, 1995

Dave uses the speaker phone to get someone to bring him pizza. Later, thirty folks show up with boxes, and slices are handed out to the audience. Also, the United States is in the middle of a government shutdown, so Dave calls the Pentagon, misdials, finally gets an answering machine, and hangs up. A stagehand gives him an ax, cuts the phone cord, and hands the phone to an audience member.

48: Show #0487

Nov 15, 1995

Elton John promotes and sings two songs from his latest album, ""Made In England.""

49: Show #0488

Nov 16, 1995

An audience guy holds cue cards in place of Tony (he's sick), while Sean Penn promotes ""Dead Man Walking.""

50: Show #0489

Nov 17, 1995

The Presidents of the United States of America perform their breakthrough hit, ""Toad.""

51: Show #0490

Nov 20, 1995

Dave sends mailroom dude/budding diva Bob Borden to Washington as a White House correspondent.

52: Show #0491

Nov 21, 1995

Dave asks folks on the street (including a poorly disguised Michael J. Fox) what they think of the federal budget crisis; Bob Borden makes his first report from DC.

53: Show #0492

Nov 22, 1995

Amongst what's ""New for the Holidays"": Gingerbread Rats, Howard Stern's book ""Miss America"" read by James Earl Jones, and Kreskin guessing the weight of turkeys. Also, Bob Borden interrogates Larry King.

54: Show #0493

Nov 23, 1995

Dave gives a turkey to a lady in the audience, then takes a turkey to the balcony with the help of a ladder; throughout the night, celebrities mention what they're thankful for; trapeze artists Helen Turkett and Luke Martin perform.

55: Show #0494

Nov 24, 1995

""Soup Nazi"" Ali ""Al"" Yeganeh passes out turkey chili to the audience.

56: Show #0495

Nov 27, 1995

In a sign of future legal trouble, Microsoft owner and multibillionaire Bill Gates tries to fix the Late Show Quiz Machine after it gets stuck displaying the answer ""Windows '95"" in all three boxes. Also, Bob Borden tries with little success to deliver a turkey to President Clinton.

57: Show #0496

Nov 28, 1995

Dave has Paul sit down on the guest chair because it's his birthday. Soon afterwards, the outside cam reveals Dave buying Paul a birthday present from a girl on the street.

58: Show #0497

Nov 29, 1995

Cold Opening: Dave and Creepy Dave go mano a mano in the green room. Also, Dave demonstrates one of the ""Top Ten Changes Westinghouse is Planning for CBS Tonight"" -- he doodles the CBS logo on blank coffee mugs for tonight's guests.

59: Show #0498

Nov 30, 1995

Steve Martin shows up a day early, and Dave can't get him offstage.

60: Show #0499

Dec 1, 1995

After showing a clip from his new movie Father of the Bride, Part 2 on a 16mm film projector, Steve Martin and Dave appear in ""The Making of Steve Martin's Appearance Documentary.""

61: Bob Hoskins, Martha Stewart, Al Green

Dec 11, 1995

62: Jean Claude Van Damme, Kirstin Dunst, Michael Bolton

Dec 12, 1995

63: Martin Short, Bev Tanner, The Dave Matthews Band

Dec 13, 1995

As a tribute to such beloved recurring segments such as ""The Man Under the Seats"" and ""The Fugitive Guy,"" Chris Elliott stars in a short-lived skit ""Cable Pulling Guy;"" Martin Short helps ""baking madwoman"" Bev Tanner make a cake.

64: Harrison Ford, Bonnie Hunt, Bruce Springsteen

Dec 14, 1995

65: Greg Kinnear, Janeane Garofalo, White Zombie

Dec 15, 1995

66: Kathie Lee Gifford, Aaron Neville

Dec 18, 1995

67: Jack Lemmon, Natalie Merchant

Dec 19, 1995

68: Howard Stern, Melissa Etheridge

Dec 20, 1995

69: Geena Davis, Goo Goo Dolls

Dec 21, 1995

After a video montage of the annual eggnog drinking from increasingly larger bowls, Dave and a model hop into a gigantic bowl of the liquid, later joined by Biff and the Goo Goo Dolls.

70: Rosie O'Donnell, Mike Judge, Darlene Love

Dec 22, 1995

71: Stupid Human Tricks, Julianna Marguiles, Del Amitri

Dec 26, 1995

72: Mandy Patinkin, Terry Gilliam

Dec 27, 1995

73: Robin Williams, Lauren Hutton, Chris Isaak

Dec 28, 1995

74: Susan Sarandon, Drew Carey

Dec 29, 1995

75: Lisa Kudrow, Art Donovan, Blues Traveler

Jan 2, 1996

76: Chevy Chase, Marv Albert, Bruce Hornsby

Jan 3, 1996

77: Tom Brokaw, Greg Fitzsimmons, Faith Hill

Jan 4, 1996

78: Denis Leary, Bridget Hall, Toad the Wet Sprocket

Jan 5, 1996

79: Sam Neill, Itzhak Perlman

Jan 8, 1996

80: Pauly Shore, Ashley Judd

Jan 9, 1996

81: Sandra Bullock, Marlon Wayans, Laurence Tai

Jan 10, 1996

82: Jason Alexander, Elisabeth Shue

Jan 11, 1996

83: Tim Robbins, Justin Wilson, Martina McBride, Norm MacDonald

Jan 12, 1996

84: David Brenner, B.B. King

Jan 22, 1996

85: Mia Farrow, Martin Scorcese, Brandy

Jan 23, 1996

86: Don Rickles, Mary Stuart Masterson, Joe Ely & Todd Snider

Jan 24, 1996

CBS President Les Moonves (bogus) takes a moment to comment on Clinton's State of the Union address by singing ""Holding Out for a Hero."" Also, pre-teen sports reporter Sparky Mortimer returns to the show and is given a new assignment- to cover Super Bowl XXX.

87: Matt Dillon, Reggie Miller, Pam Tillis

Jan 25, 1996

Sparky Mortimer makes another amusing -- albeit clumsy -- Super Bowl report; Dave chats with basketball star Reggie Miller.

88: Conan O'Brian, Mira Sorvino, Seven Mary Three

Jan 26, 1996

89: Richard Simmons, Christine Lahti, Nanci Griffith & the Crickets

Jan 29, 1996

90: Jay Thomas, Larry Miller

Jan 30, 1996

91: Elle MacPherson, David Spade, D'Angelo

Jan 31, 1996

92: Alec Baldwin, Dwight Yoakam, Natalie Portman

Feb 1, 1996

93: Cybill Sheperd, Al Franken, Sati Achath

Feb 2, 1996

94: Jack Hanna, Tammy Faye Messner, Aimee Mann

Feb 5, 1996

95: Joan Collins, Robert Downey Jr., Jean Louisa Kelly

Feb 6, 1996

96: Chuck Norris, Samantha Mathis

Feb 7, 1996

97: Stupid Pet Tricks, Ray Liotta, Soul Asylum

Feb 8, 1996

98: Uma Thurman, Norm MacDonald, Ramones

Feb 9, 1996

Dave offers Liz Taylor a riding mower if she'll come on the show; clips from the HBO movie The Late Shift, which Dave calls ""satire;"" The Ramones perform ""She Talks to Rainbows.""

99: Chris Farley, Gin Blossoms, Joe & Mary Graziano

Feb 12, 1996

100: Adam Sandler, Jackie Chan, Red Hot Chili Peppers

Feb 13, 1996

101: Siskel & Ebert, Neil Diamond, Brandy (the dog)

Feb 14, 1996

102: Tom Arnold, Joan Allen, Lenny Kravitz

Feb 15, 1996

103: Teri Hatcher, Jon Stewart

Feb 16, 1996

104: Kathie Lee Gifford, Gillian Anderson, Cecilia Bartoli

Feb 19, 1996

105: Julia Roberts, James Brown

Feb 20, 1996

106: Larry King, Wynonna

Feb 21, 1996

107: Joan Lunden, Cheri Oteri, Lou Reed

Feb 22, 1996

108: Kid Inventors, Sherry Stringfield, Don Henley

Feb 23, 1996

109: Fran Drescher, Shania Twain, George Miller

Feb 26, 1996

110: Dennis Hopper, Dave Chapelle, Pete Droge

Feb 27, 1996

111: Susan Sarandon, Rob Schneider, Mike Dahm

Feb 28, 1996

112: Kelsey Grammer, Victoria Abril, Allman Brothers

Feb 29, 1996

113: Robin Williams, Patsy Kensit, Spacehog

Mar 1, 1996

114: Sarah Jessica Parker, Treat Williams, Cowboy Junkies

Mar 4, 1996

In mock tribute to HBO's ""The Late Shift,"" Dave throws baseballs at an archery target.

115: Nathan Lane, Steven Wright, Jann Arden

Mar 5, 1996

116: Stupid Human Tricks, Mira Sorvino, k.d. Lang

Mar 6, 1996

117: Dan Rather, Bonnie Hunt, The Tony Rich Project

Mar 7, 1996

118: Dana Carvey, Riverdance

Mar 8, 1996

119: Ricki Lake, William Shatner, Ray Romano

Mar 18, 1996

Dave mentions that in between show tapings, an audience guy named Anthony sang ""My Way"" from the balcony. During the taping of this episode, however, Dave invites him to sing it onstage. Also, Dave goes over to Black Rock Bar & Grill to swipe a beverage from Dan Rather.

120: Mandy Patinkin, Tea Leoni, Collective Soul

Mar 19, 1996

Dave stoically mentions that this will be the last night for the current set, and that it will be remodeled during the NCAA Tournament coverage. To commemorate this, at the end of the show, a couple dozen audience members file by the desk to touch Dave.

121: Barbara Walters, Halle Berry, Ray Charles

Mar 20, 1996

As the Ed Sullivan Theater is being renovated, Dave hosts his show from the lobby with only 60 folding chairs set up for the audience. Fire Commissioner Howard Safir oversees the proceedings, while guests Barbara Walters and Halle Berry make their entrances through the theater debris. Dave tells Ray Charles, ""I don't know how to break it to you, but you're in the lobby."" Also, a man-on-the-street segment finds that most New Yorkers are apathetic towards the new set.

122: Phil Hartman, Rose Hamburger, The Band

Mar 26, 1996

After a week of construction, the show's new ""Bridge"" set is unveiled. Dave quickly mentions that he ordered it from a catalog. Martha Stewart honors the occasion by hammering in the last nail. Later, she's seen sanding backstage and, still later, operating a blowtorch.

123: George Foreman, Naomi Campbell, Tim McGraw

Mar 27, 1996

Dave has an extra joke in the monologue, so he and Tony take it over to Conan O'Brien at NBC. Meanwhile, George Foreman breaks a pinata at Hello Deli, in celebration of the unveiling of Rupert's new ""set.""

124: Don Johnson, Michelle Kwan, No Doubt

Mar 28, 1996

Mailbag: Dave goes over to Yankee Stadium and steals home plate. Also, Dave chats with ""Cliff Sussman"" (Jay Johnson), the president of the New Set Fan Club, and No Doubt performs ""Spiderwebs.""

125: Nick Turturro, Jenny McCarthy, Stone Temple Pilots

Mar 29, 1996

Dana Carvey drops by and receives a piece of the set; The Usual Suspects star Kevin Spacey presents the Top Ten live via satellite; Alan Kalter stars in the new midseason replacement sitcom ""Weird Guy in an Elevator.""

126: Mary Tyler Moore, Anna Paquin, Mark Knopfler

Apr 1, 1996

Dave tricks young Oscar® winner Anna Paquin into getting in a magician's box, claiming he was going to show her a trick. Once he had her locked in, he took off her shoes and tickled her feet!Also, Dave challenges Millionaire Basketball Winner Tom Gates: if he makes his shot onstage, Dave will give him $10,000; if he doesn't, he has to host the show. He misses. So does a very un-athletic Mary Tyler Moore. But Paquin hits, and Dave gives her the $10,000 cash.

127: Bill Cosby, Anfernee Hardaway, Ray Wold

Apr 2, 1996

After Dave promises that the Quiz Machine will never be seen on the show again, he brings out the ""Flagstar 3000,"" a cheap cardboard facade.

128: Elle MacPherson, Hank Azaria, Cassandra Wilson

Apr 3, 1996

Anna Paquin returns to the show two days after the basketball challenge and donates her cash prize to charity. Also, Dave temporarily moves his show to public access, and Laurie Diamond persuades him to return to CBS.

129: Bill Maher, Michael Lomanaco, Jackson Browne

Apr 4, 1996

CBS Mailbag: the Quiz Machine is destroyed (at last!) by a cab, while Tony Randall hides under Dave's desk to protect himself from the government.

130: David Hyde Pierce, Scott Thompson, Pulp

Apr 5, 1996

Dave shows a clip of Marshall Sylver's infomercial, and throughout the night Dave attempts to hypnotize members of the staff. After Dave accidentally puts Biff in a daze, he calls up Sylver to figure out what to do with his entranced stage manager.

131: Robert Duvall, Amy Brenneman, Tori Amos

Apr 8, 1996

After miraculously surviving its attempted demise the previous week, the Quiz Machine is finally destroyed once and for all. Also, ten ballerinas present the Top Ten.

132: Tony Danza, Lucy Lawless, R. Kelly

Apr 9, 1996

Dave begins a new contest: The town that sends the most valuable gifts will be the new Top Ten Home Office. Two huge glass tanks are displayed onstage, each for the two towns in competition. Tonight, Wahoo, Nebraska (the challenger) sends enchiladas, while Grand Rapids (the incumbent) sends a fax from the Governor of Michigan. Not a good start for Grand Rapids. Also, the outside cam visits Sullivan's Bar & Grill next door, and their bartender comes in the theater to pose for a Polaroid picture.

133: Dan Aykroyd, Louis C.K., Sting

Apr 10, 1996

134: Luciano Pavarotti & Michael Bolton, David Schwimmer, Cynthia Rowley

Apr 11, 1996

The Home Office Competition continues: Added to Wahoo's tank is a pizza, a T-shirt, and a birdhouse, while Grand Rapids adds a garment bag; Dave shows another episode of Alan Kalter's mini-sitcom ""Weird Guy in an Elevator""; Luciano Pavarotti and Michael Bolton sing ""Nessun Dorma.""

135: Tom Brokaw, Blue, Rosanne Cash

Apr 12, 1996

Dave appears on the Times Square Jumbotron demanding presents; Dave and Fred Nigro go to Jersey to help with taxes, during which Dave recruits a citizen to stand in for him during an audit; Dave plugs his mother's recently-published cookbook.

136: Joan Lunden, Nick Faldo, Jewel

Apr 22, 1996

An audience member assists in the debut of the Slatstar 2000, while Brett Butler presents the Top Ten.

137: Mia Farrow, Janeane Garofalo, Hootie & the Blowfish

Apr 23, 1996

Mia Farrow reveals that she's addicted to the internet. Carly Simon drops by in mid-interview, and later, both sit in with the CBS Orchestra, with Mia on tambourine and Carly on cowbell.

138: Samuel Jackson, Jeff Altman, Los Lobos

Apr 24, 1996

Dave holds an impromptu auction, while Marshall Sylver hypnotizes more Late Show staffers.

139: Kids Telling Jokes, Chazz Palminteri, Celine Dion

Apr 25, 1996

Wahoo vs. Grand Rapids, Day 9: Wahoo sends two kids, Jeff and Josh Price, to sit in their glass tank. Grand Rapids loses further ground by sending several non-living items. Also, Alan does various random things throughout the night, including reading his turkey pot pie recipe, speaking in a bad French accent, ripping his shirt open, and holding his breath through a commercial break.

140: Dana Carvey, Robin Quivers, Afghan Wigs

Apr 26, 1996

In honor of the recent Sotheby's Auction that featured items once owned by John F. Kennedy, Biff comes stage on Jackie O's (alleged) riding lawnmower; in a pre-taped segment, Dave interviews CBS job applicants, during which he pressures college sophomore Todd Stevens to sing; Nathan Lane appears to show Todd how it's done; Dave leaves the show to have some coffee with a guy named Kenny.

141: Regis Philbin, Dave's Mom, Peter Berg

Apr 29, 1996

Dorothy drops by to promote the cookbook that Dave's been plugging for the last two weeks, and she cooks him his favorite sandwich.

142: Barbara Walters, Anthony Clark, Van Morrison

Apr 30, 1996

At the end of the monologue, a guy dressed up as an Olympic runner bolts across the stage, and later he paces around the backdrop. Also, comedian Anthony Clark promotes his new sitcom Boston Common.

143: Jeff Goldblum, James Carville, Brooks & Dunn

May 1, 1996

Tonight's ""What's On Other Channels"" segment includes ""Condom Testing,"" ""The Mexican Navy's New Battleship,"" and ""Tommy Lee-Pamela Anderson Video.""

144: John Malkovich, Jake Johannsen, Pete Townshend

May 2, 1996

Pat Farmer interrupts the monologue by walking in front of the camera; Marv Albert provides color commentary on tonight's CBS Mailbag; two guys spray each other with fuel at a gas station in Queens.

145: Rosie O'Donnell, Gwyneth Paltrow, Everclear

May 3, 1996

The Home Office Contest is over: Wahoo is now the official home office of the Top Ten List, decimating Grand Rapids from the get-go. Also, Everclear performs ""Heartspark Dollarsign.""

146: Tom Hanks, Steve Young

May 6, 1996

The Late Show begins a week in San Francisco as Mayor Willie Brown interrupts the show throughout the hour by offering Dave the key to the city, a loaf of sourdough bread, and a stick he found in his yard. Also, Paul composes a music video for cable car operator Luis ""Guido"" Montano, with cameos by Los Lobos, Carly Simon, Hootie & the Blowfish and Celine Dion.

147: Paul Reiser, Jane Seymour, Keanu Reeves & Dogstar

May 7, 1996

Frisco, Day 2: Dave gives a bouquet to a 95-year-old lady in the audience; Dave and football great Joe Montana tour the city, where they end up getting ""friendly"" in Alcatraz; Dave checks on the theater in NYC, and finds Clint Eastwood imitating Dave at his desk.

148: Stupid Pet Tricks, Dean Cain, Elvis Costello

May 8, 1996

Frisco, Day 3: Sheila E. and Pete Escovido sit in; Dave shows off the 49ers shower curtain he has in the dressing room; Dave orders Rupert to harass people on the street; Dave invites a shaggy-looking guy in the audience (a professor at Stanford, no less) to take a shower during the show.

149: Eddie Murphy, Paul Doherty, Green Day

May 9, 1996

From San Francisco: Three audience members receive free hams and souvenir cue cards; Joe Satriani sits in; Dave tells the seals at Fisherman's Wharf to shut up; the San Francisco Giants present the Top Ten; basketballs and melons are rolled down Fillburn Street, the steepest in the city.

150: Don Johnson, Jeremiah Tower, Alice in Chains

May 10, 1996

Frisco, Day 5: The Alcatraz mock-up in the backdrop is subject to a jailbreak; Dave hangs out with a local hippie, thus introducing the world (not to mention fleeting fame) to one Manny Papp; Dave loses a blue card, and then finds it inside a crab at Fisherman's Wharf; Manny meets his hero, John Popper of Blues Traveler.

151: Anjelica Huston, Paul Hogan, Natalie Merchant

May 13, 1996

Dave quizzes the audience on his week in San Francisco, during which Gene Siskel runs onstage looking for Roger Ebert. Later in the show, he gives up on his search, then relaunches his film review program as ""Siskel and DeForest."" Also, Natalie Merchant sings ""Jealousy.""

152: Jon Stewart, Kirstin Dunst, Dog's Eye View

May 14, 1996

Manny the Hippie gives his first live remote from San Francisco, as Dave asks him to give periodic reviews on current movies. Tonight, he reviews Twister, which he personally didn't care for.

153: Jeff Foxworthy, Flyball Dogs, Joan Osborne

May 15, 1996

Junior Brown sits in, and Dave tries on his very unique hat. Also, a guy dressed up as Ronald McDonald gives Dave the Top Ten, and later he is found lying dead in the street.

154: Walter Cronkite, Harry Hill, Spin Doctors

May 16, 1996

During Mailbag, Tony sits in for Dave while Dave sits in for Alan saying ""letter number two,"" which leads into a question about lawn care; comedian Harry Hill tells jokes about Cher, The A-Team, and his grandmother's funeral; Spin Doctors perform ""She Used to Be Mine.""

155: Helen Hunt, Dave Matthews Band

May 17, 1996

For no apparent reason, Dave orders Tony to take a taxi; Manny the Hippie presents the Top Ten; a dentist checks out a weird whistling noise coming out of Dave's mouth when he speaks.

156: Fran Drescher, Brian Regan, Joan Jett

May 20, 1996

Two audience guys go outside to monitor the temperature, and given their meteorological expertise, are ordered to stand next to a giant thermometer.

157: John Goodman, Norm MacDonald, Patty Loveless

May 21, 1996

It's time for a new game called ""May We Turn Your Pants into Shorts?"" Dave is the first to mutilate his slacks, and is followed by Paul, Biff, John Goodman, and Norm MacDonald, who was already wearing shorts.

158: Stupid Human Tricks, Brett Butler, Al Green

May 22, 1996

Dave shows a clip of his favorite moment from last night's show: Biff doing a quadruple take upon seeing Dave's slacks getting cut at the knee; Dave's contact lens fall out, so he wears his glasses for half the show; Brett Butler performs a Stupid Human Trick.

159: Leslie Nielsen, Daphne Zuniga, Bring in Da Funk

May 23, 1996

Dave's jacket is stain by coffee, so he throws it into the balcony; an ""unknown guest"" crashes the show; Leslie Nielsen promotes Spy Hard.

160: Kid Inventors, Dennis Quaid, Seven Mary Three

May 24, 1996

Dave and Conan O'Brien get ""Bob Dole Is Old"" jokes from the joke storeroom in the basement of the Ed Sullivan Theater. Also, Dave invites several staffers (including then-intern Stephanie Birkett) to discuss their dreams at a local steakhouse.

161: Martin Short, Jimmy Vassar, Bryan Adams

Jun 3, 1996

Live via satellite in San Francisco, Manny the Hippie reviews the film ""Spy Hard"": ""It's schwiggity schwag!"" Also, ""She Loves Me"" week begins with Martin Short, who performs this song, hanging on to the last note while leaving the theater, grabbing a soda at the Hello Deli, getting a massage, and returning to the theater wearing a terrycloth robe.

162: Nathan Lane, Daisy Fuentes, Mitch Fantel

Jun 4, 1996

Dave invites customers from the Roy Rogers restaurant across the street into the theater to be checked for ticks; Dr. Sam Merrick declares them tick-free. Also, Day 2 of ""She Loves Me,"" tonight performed by Nathan Lane. Like Martin Short the previous night, Nate holds the last note, goes out to Hello Deli for a soda, then to a massage, and back inside the theater with a robe.

163: Diana Ross, George Wallace

Jun 5, 1996

Diana Ross performs a variation of the song ""She Loves Me"" called ""He Loves Me,"" and while holding the final note, buys a soda at Hello Deli, gets a massage at a nearby spa, and walks back inside the theater wearing a white robe.

164: Matthew Broderick, Kim Delaney, Rent

Jun 6, 1996

Dave tells a mean fat joke about Roger Ebert, and shortly afterwards the film critic calls Dave a bastard; four singers present the First Annual Late Show Salute to the Word ""Ass""; on Day 4 of ""She Loves Me"" week, Matthew Broderick performs a certain 1950's pop standard, holds the last note, runs through the theater, grabs a soda at the Hello Deli, gets a handbill for a free massage, receives the massage, and returns to the theater wearing a robe, still holding the note.

165: Rosie O'Donnell, Heather Matarazzo, Cracker

Jun 7, 1996

The final day of celebrity ""She Loves Me"" performances takes place when Rosie O'Donnell sings, holds the last note, runs through the theater, grabs a soda at Hello Deli, gets a handbill for a free massage, receives the massage, and returns to the theater wearing a robe, still holding the same note. Dave follows this flawless presentation with a week-long retrospective.

166: Siskel & Ebert, Andrew Shue, Dana Gould

Jun 10, 1996

Biff attempts to learn how to fly; actor/soccer fanatic Andrew Shue introduces footage of him, Elizabeth Shue, and John Shue playing a pick-up game of his sport of choice.

167: Dennis Franz, Joe Queenan, Gloria Estefan

Jun 11, 1996

In a piece of videotape footage that ""will disturb and shock you,"" Dave introduces clips of Bill Clinton singing ""Mustang Sally"" and Boris Yeltsin dancing.

168: Ben Stiller, Liv Tyler, Douglas Rodriguez

Jun 12, 1996

Dave fools around with a hot glue gun, while up-and-coming actress Liv Tyler (daughter of Bebe Buell and Steven Tyler) promotes Stealing Beauty.

169: Danny Glover, Bobby Maley, Joey Kola

Jun 13, 1996

Kenny Wayne Shepherd sits in; Dave points out that one of tonight's ""CBS Mailbag"" letter-writers is in the audience; during Mailbag, ""Ronald McDonald"" (Leonard) verbally abuses Dave.

170: Kelsey Grammer, Amber Valletta, Ozzy Osborne

Jun 14, 1996

Dave bids farewell to one of his longtime staffers; Kelsey Grammer promotes ""Down Periscope""; Manny reviews The Cable Guy: ""Dank.""

171: Vanessa Williams, Jonathan Silverman, Lucile Treganowan

Jun 17, 1996

Remote: Dave works the drive-thru at a Taco Bell in Jersey. Later, he chats with Lucille Treganowan, 66-year-old grandmother/hot rod guru. (correct synopsis)

172: Sarah Jessica Parker, Marv Albert, Lyle Lovett

Jun 18, 1996

Some guy carrying the Olympic torch comes through to interrupt the monologue. Also, Dave recalls a fake Father's Day memory when his son ""Jimmy"" gave him an ashtray. Paul doubts the story, forcing Dave to recall his ""real"" video memory: ""Jimmy"" arriving with pizza. (correct synopsis)

173: James Caan, Julie White, Patti Smith

Jun 19, 1996

Biff recruits an audience member to get splashed in the face by a speeding taxi going over a puddle. Also, CBS head honcho ""Les Moonves"" discusses the CBS fall lineup, then sings Harry Chapin's ""Cat in the Cradle.""

174: Pauly Shore, Gena Lee Nolin, Vince Gill

Jun 20, 1996

In response to a CBS Mailbag letter that noticed a likeness between Inky Mendez and Steven Speilberg, Martin Scorsese is seen impersonating Anton Fig.

175: John Travolta, John Sayles, The Presidents of the United States of America

Jun 21, 1996

Dave shows off a tick that has embedded itself into his suit, then shows more footage of him at Taco Bell. (correct synopsis)

176: Conan O'Brian, Eleanor Mondale, Blues Traveler

Jun 24, 1996

177: Bruce Willis, Christine Wilson, Jimmy Buffet

Jun 25, 1996

178: Jerry Van Dyke, Luke Perry, Fugees

Jun 26, 1996

Jerry Van Dyke rides onstage on a mule; Luke Perry gives Dave his sideburns; The Fugees perform ""Fu-Gee-La.""

179: Cher, Shaquille O'Neal

Jun 27, 1996

180: Michael Keaton, Ving Rhames, Goo Goo Dolls

Jun 28, 1996

Manny the Hippie reviews Striptease: ""Schwag."" Also, Creepy Dave drops by to ask Michael Keaton about human cloning.

181: Harry Connick, Jr., Josie Bisset

Jul 1, 1996

182: Will Smith, Demi Moore

Jul 2, 1996

183: Jeff Goldblum, Jonathan Katz, George Clinton & the P-Funk All-Stars

Jul 3, 1996

Dave airs his first new July 3rd show since his morning show in 1980. During the ""Rejected FDA Products"" segment, Dave introduces ""Sherwin-Williams Fettucine in Paint."" Later, Jeff Goldblum promotes ""Independence Day"" as Rupert searches the sky for UFOs.

184: Kids Tell Jokes, Dan O'Brian, Brian Setzer Orchestra

Jul 4, 1996

Mujibur and Sirajul stand on the roof, waiting for the fireworks in broad daylight; during Mailbag, ""Neil Diamond"" (Calvert) rouses the crowd with a smokin' rendition of ""America;"" two audience members take an American flag to the Empire State Building; The Brian Setzer Orchestra performs ""Town Without Pity.""

185: Randy Quaid, Sheryl Swoopes, The Cure

Jul 5, 1996

Dave switches places with an audience woman, and later she sits in with the band; Elaine Stritch storms onstage and chews out Dave; Randy Quaid promotes Independence Day.

186: Scottie Pippen, Prince, George Miller

Jul 8, 1996

187: Bill Pullman, JoAnn Ussery, Willie Nelson

Jul 9, 1996

Dave points out that Paul is the co-musical director for the Olympic closing ceremonies; Biff keeps interrupting Dave; Dave chats with Joanne Ussery, a woman who lives in a renovated Boeing 727.

188: Jack Hanna, Brent Spiner, Charlie Watts

Jul 10, 1996

Manny the Hippie talks about his trip to Roswell, New Mexico, while The Charlie Watts Quintet (featuring Bernard Fowler) performs ""In a Sentimental Mood.""

189: Meg Ryan, Shaolin Monks, Garbage

Jul 11, 1996

Dave shows a semi-embarrassing clip of Meg Ryan from her days on ""As The World Turns,"" featuring a ""young"" Paul Shaffer and Will Lee.

190: Bill Murray, MaliVai Washington, Wallflowers

Jul 12, 1996

Dave tries to find the owner of car whose license plates read ""SO HAPPY,"" and later he shows footage of a Wheel of Fortune contestant screwing up the answer to a puzzle: ""Paul Shatner!""

191: Margaret Colin, Lou Diamond Phillips, Wali Collins

Jul 15, 1996

192: Laurence Fishburne, Lea Thompson, Me'Shell Ndegeocello

Jul 16, 1996

Dave continues to gloat over the Late Show's (alleged) title as Official Talk Show of the Summer Olympics, with abortive sports commentary by Anton; Laurence Fishburne promotes Fled.

193: Michael J. Fox, Shelly Moquin, Travis Tritt & Marty Stuart

Jul 17, 1996

Country legend Marty Stuart sits in, while a disgruntled alien (Gerard) comments on inaccuracies in the movie Independence Day.

194: Andie MacDowell, Bob Woodward, Paul Westerberg

Jul 18, 1996

Dave discusses in length the show's embarrassment of Emmy riches this year (four nominations); the ""CBS Mailbag"" presents Dave's 10,000th ""Bob Dole is old"" joke; Dave receives another discouraging visit from Fan Club president ""Cliff Sussman"" (Jay Johnson).

195: David Duchovny, Jackie Joyner-Kersee, Sponge

Jul 19, 1996

Leonard ""The Ronald McDonald Guy"" Tepper joins Rupert for another one of his hidden-mike remotes with Dave. Later, Jackie Joyner-Kersee promotes her new fitness book and upcoming appearance at the Atlanta Games.

196: Danny DeVito, Amy VanDyken, Hootie & the Blowfish

Aug 5, 1996

Dave welcomes the Gold Medal-winning U.S. Olympic Girl's Gymnastics Team (minus the injured Kerri Strug); during a ""New Products"" segment, Pat Farmer models a t-shirt made from venetian blinds.

197: Rhea Perlman, Dot Richardson, Reggie McFadden

Aug 6, 1996

198: Michael Johnson, Tom Arnold, Tracy Chapman

Aug 7, 1996

Dave announces that the Late Show has its own version of ""The Real World,"" with Paul, Anton and Pat Farmer whining about their personal problems.

199: Dennis Miller, Mia Hamm, Butthole Surfers

Aug 8, 1996

During ""CBS Mailbag,"" Secret Service Agents dance the Macarena; Dennis Miller promotes his new HBO talk show; Butthole Surfers perform ""Pepper.""

200: Dennis Hopper, Cheech Marin, Sex Pistols

Aug 9, 1996

Dave brings up three girls from the audience, confiscates their gum, and sends them out to goof off in a nearby fountain; the Sex Pistols perform ""Pretty Vacant.""

201: Richard Simmons, Jerry O'Connell, Lionel Richie

Aug 12, 1996

202: Kevin Pollak, Diane Lane, Randy Travis

Aug 13, 1996

203: Ellen Barkin, Jackie Chan, Patti Rothberg

Aug 14, 1996

204: Dwight Gooden, Tom Selleck, George Jones

Aug 15, 1996

Dave chats with Yankees pitcher Dwight ""Doc"" Gooden, who threw a no-hitter the night before.

205: Mike Wallace, Tom Dolan, Dave Attell

Aug 16, 1996

Dave gives a ham to a man in the audience who correctly guessed his weight (158 lbs).

206: Marilu Henner, Alex Rodriguez, J.R. Havlen

Aug 19, 1996

207: Dennis Rodman, Susan Molinari, Neville Brothers

Aug 20, 1996

208: Angie Everhart, Mario Van Peebles, Beach Boys

Aug 21, 1996

209: James Carville, Ed Burns, Melissa Etheridge

Aug 22, 1996

210: Nathan Lane, Mara Wilson

Aug 23, 1996

Episodes